Change

When I was in grade nine I thought I was big shot because everyone knew my name, I thought I was cool because I could make comment, it could nice or even really rude and everyone would laugh along. I was, I guess you could use the term "Popular" or at least I thought I was. You see me and my friends , had this group chat, where we would say a bunch of things about others thinking it was funny.We were "those girls". But the worst part of it all was I would go to bed a night thinking I was a good person. That using terms like "Faggot", "Retarded" "the N- word" and screaming out "That's so gay" was okay and were meaningless. I thought these words were funny . If you really want to laugh, the boy I used to like a few years ago is name on my phone was "the fag <3", as if anything about that is cute. I went by "Queen B" because I didn't understand that I was not a queen if my throne is made out of all the girls I had stepped on just to make myself superior. And so, the obvious truth is, you've got to make a mistake to learn from it. So that's exactly what I did. I joked around about suicide on twitter, I told everyone this girls deepest darkest secret, a secret I was not even supposed to know. I told my mom I hated going to Lebanon because in grade seven I was called a terrorist and that was the label I carried throughout grade school.. "Osama's daughter" to be exact and god forbid anyone find out I spend my summers in middle east. I even made fun of my best friends eyebrows because she would color them in, knowing she was insecure about that. 

But for whats its worth, let me tell you. I did change. Others may disagree. They also might not like me but that's okay, because I like me. I became a feminist. I started to read more, because that kept me busy. I talked less and listened more. I got a job and donated my first paycheck to all the new Syrian refuges, because they needed the money a whole lot more than I did. I thought before I spoke, because I realized that saying the N- word didn't make me "hood", or cool it made me ignorant and rude. Its not a word we could throw around as if its nothing, its hurtful and rude and  brings up a past that should of never happened. I don't know why I thought I was better then everyone, maybe I was insecure or unhappy with my life. But you see,  So how do you change, I mean you're probably thinking its "easier said than done". 

Improving yourself: Being a good person is not as simple as doing no harm to others, its also not entirely about what you don't do. Its doing something nice because you want to and not expecting anything in return. Maybe even chose a remodel. Someone you look up to. 

Be yourself: Do what you love and love what you do, even if its weird or strange. I mean I'm a 16 year old that keeps up with politics and news more than the average person and I also read poems on my spare time.. So if that makes me a weirdo then so be it ! It doesn't concern anyone so it should not bother anyone. 

Be optimistic : Be a cup full kinda person. Take a bad situation and make something great out of it . If your negative, it comes off in the way you treat others. If something doesn't go your way try to change was you can, stay positive and move on.

Accept everyone around you: Part of being a good person is not being judgmental. Accept everyone around you, no matter the race, age, sexual orientation, gender identity or culture. Realize that everyone has feelings, every person is valid, and everyone should be treated with respect. Its 2016.. Don't be racist, homophobic or intolerant of other religions. The world is a huge place full or diversity, learn from others and celebrate your differences. 

This won't all happen over night, it takes time and patience.  And, if people refuse to look at you in a new light and can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made. if they don't realize that YOU ARE NOT YOUR MISTAKES, then they have to go. Love yourself , be good, do good.