Death is devastating. I mean it just happens..
Last summer me and my grandmother (who was only 59) were on the phone. We were conversing about how she could not wait to see me in the summer(she lives in Lebanon) and how she misses me. "You know I love you", is what she said and then something went wrong with my phone service and the call ended. I didn't think to call her back. The next week, my mom comes into my room saying she booked a flight to Lebanon for that night, and that her mother had passed away. She was trying to explain to me how she had a stroke but as I cried and I cried all I could think of was the last few words she had said to me, they would replay in my head, with such a fresh and clear voice. My grandmother, the lady I look up to, who was healthy and perfectly fine is now gone. Its weird, the death of loved one. Our time in this world is limited and I guess it is true, all of us will go at some time, never to wake up. Yet I was so shocked and surprised.
Let me tell you this, you never get used to it. The idea of someone actually being gone. Just when you think the worlds going round again & its been accepted, someone points it out and it just hits you again.
The next few weeks I was full of rage, I mean I had about a hundred people saying "sorry for your loss" "she was a great lady". PEOPLE WHO DID NOT KNOW HER, PEOPLE WHO BARELY KNOW ME. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed all the comfort I was getting from everyone. But you reach a point where your fed up with the idea that people are always feeling sorry for you. It was like a bad day that would just not end.
I attended the local funeral we had. Like any other funeral, you bid the dead farewell. You grieve. But then you've just got to continue with your life, and at times her absence will hit you, and you will weep. But days, weeks and then months will pass by. It'll began to happen less and less. The persons now gone, but you're alive, I guess that means you should probably live.
"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new."
I would say I'm sorry for your loss, but you so obviously don't want me too. If everyone you love or care for can just hang on for another 20-25 years (according to this source, http://guardianlv.com/2014/07/how-close-are-humans-to-immortality/, and many others) they'll be immortal and you'll never have to feel that feeling again. So don't worry be patient and death will become a thing of the past, a forgotten feeling.
ReplyDeletegreat post and youre right, i couldent imagine a life, whithought some of my family members or peaple that are close, and you never know when it could happen. However like steve jobs said we will all die someday so we need to make the most of our lives, anyways amazing blog post keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteWow Batoul, I know exactly how you feel I lost my great grandfather to cancer last November and it was honesty one of the hardest times of my life. Death is hard, no matter how you look at it. The best thing we can do is make the best with the time we have and leave this world a better place.
ReplyDeleteThis is completely true, people are going to try and say anything to make you feel better. Death is inevitable. Every day is a blessing and your blogpost is showing that. I love this.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand the sympathy-rejection thing. My mother passed away when I was 5, and I barely knew her. Whenever I bring this up casually, I feel like people see me as "damaged" and rush to give apologies. I don't personally feel like it's necessary but I see it as a social habit/tendency, I guess
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